Do You Really Believe That? Really

I heard a devout Christian say in defense of President Trump that he’s just a man just like King David which was accounted to him as a man after God’s own heart.

Really? You would compare those two? That makes me want to throw up as much as saying Jesus Christ and His followers were sexually intimate with one another.

I tell you what, I will tell you the things that I know are true of David that God would call him a man after His own heart and you tell me anything that compares, because, fellow Christians of all you have to compare with is the sexual side of David, we the bride really need to look inward and question our motives, our responsibilities, our character….. We need to question everything as to how do we personally compare with the Character of God.

David, when he was a boy was considered the least of his brothers.

He tended the sheep, he watched after the sheep, he protected the sheep with his life. He was willing to die to protect his father’s sheep.

While out in the fields he sang to God out of his own heart, making music before the Lord and inventing musical instruments.

He chose God.

He fasted before the Lord and He sought the Lord before he made any major decisions.

I heard one preacher say it was because he was quick to repent. He was but that didn’t make him a man after God’s own heart.

David sought God’s heart day and night, but that didn’t make him a man after God’s own heart.

When King Saul went to relieve himself and David had the opportunity to end it with Saul, but he didn’t because Saul, as far as David was concerned, was God’s anointed. David respected the covenants of God.

David was respectful.

All of these things are characteristics of God and are honorable. They should be characteristics of all God’s children, but none of these characteristics are what gave him the title of, “A man after God’s own heart.”

Our Father God, the Great Jehovah, looks upon His creation, His Children with great love. It is a love that as humans, you and I can not fathom. It is beyond our reach.

Everything He made He created for His joy, His delight. We were created out of love.

I was writing a story called, The Father’s Heart” and it was totally inspired by the Holy Spirit.

His Spirit gave me this reference;

2 Samuel 18….  If you back up a few chapters you will see the contempt, the cause, the murders, the betrayals…. You will see Absalom attempting to overthrow and take over David’s Kingdom.

There was war and in the last phase of battle, Joab convinced David not to go into battle with his men. King David gave this command and all heard it, “Do not harm the young man Absalom.”

As I read on I was struck to the core at what I saw.

One of David’s commander and chief took it upon himself to take Absalom’s life. There is a whole sermon in this alone. Joab took three daggers to kill him, then 10 of Joab’s men took a stab at him.

Bible gateway chapter 18;

33 The king was shaken. He went up to the room over the gateway and wept. As he went, he said: “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died in stead of you—O Absalom, my son, my son!”[g]


He would have rather died himself that to have this judgement upon his son.

Also, no matter what Absalom had done, he still called him son.

….. Trump, really.

I know the scripture says to pray for those in charge, this is the best I can do.

Father, the world has chosen a godless man over You. Your Bride’s gown is filthy and tattered. Your righteous leaders are silenced and the evil one speaks. I pray dear God with all of my heart, show me what to do, tell me what to say.

In Jesus’s Name I pray that the anointing of forgiveness abound. I pray that Spirit of Repentance abound. I pray that the Spirits of Wisdom and knowledge increase as understanding spreads. I pray that the True Light shine and that your people who are called by Your Name will turn and Give You Praise. You are the manna, You O Lord are my daily Bread. You are the beginning and the end. All heaven and earth answers to You. May Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.

In Christ Jesus name I pray. So be it.



Lol: Lessons of Life

If you know me I thrive on helping people. If we were talking cars. When I see a need or hear distress, that is like turning the key, start the ignition. My Battery is  the gift of helps, my alternator turns by the acts of blessing someone, my boost is the smile, or sigh of relief.

One day many years ago I lived in Georgia, in a populated area. Near a grocery store and people often walked because our neighborhood was only 3 blocks away, but it was up hill going home.

I was new to the neighborhood and for several days I passed this very old lady walking in the direction of home.

She was hunched over, she had a large hump between her shoulders, she looked arthritic and she carried about 6 plastic bags of groceries.

After seeing her a couple of times, I wondered who was eating all of this food. Then I imagined some sorry grandkids sitting at home.

I passed her like this several times then one day I just couldn’t pass her by again without helping her. She was struggling to make it up the hill.

She was on the left shoulder of the road so I pulled closer to her with my window rolled down and said, “Can I help you?”

The old woman hunkered down and began shuffling those old feet a little more… You know, the Tim Conway shuffle.

She got ahead of me, I had a straight shift and was lingering with the clutch engaged. I thought, “She didn’t hear me.”

I put it in gear, got up beside her again, raising my voice a little louder. “Mam, can I help you?”

She never answered or even acknowledged my existence. I thought, maybe she is almost deaf and I’m scaring her pulling up to her. Soooo,

I pulled off of the road and walked up to her to explain. Talking VERY loudly, “Mam, I pass you almost every day carrying that load, I am your neighbor, I lie just past you, can I help you with your groceries.”

Never looking up at me she screeched, “LEAVE ME ALONE!”

I was kind of shocked, but I left her alone, I never stopped to help her again.

Just to prove my point about going out of my way to get to help someone. THIS WAS BAD. I am so glad I didn’t succeed.

I was driving up Jefferson Street, there are a lot of old houses on one side of the road and newer industrial sites on the other, houses beyond that.

This could be a cartoon.

It’s a three lane strip of road with easements on both sides.

Ahead of me, on the left sidewalk, I see this obese man in an electric wheelchair scooter thing. This is what I think I am seeing.

He has his dog trotting beside him and these other three mixed dogs come out and are starting a fight with his dog. I see the old man taking a swipe at them with a walking stick that he has.

The old man then goes out into the street and is riding in the middle, in the turn lane. His dog is being diverted by the pack dogs. He has been separated from the old man.

The old man completely crosses the highway and is going up Kellem Rd. There weren’t any cars there.

I follow thinking, he’s worried about his dog, I know I was.

These were my thoughts.  I’ll get the dog and bring it to him and put him out safely beside him. Lol…

So …. Here I go .. I follow the man, he speeds up. I’m wanting to get beside him to ask him what the dog’s name is.

He speeds up more, finally I toot the horn, he turns around. We speak.

This is what happened:

That was not his dog he just started tagging along until the others started being aggressive towards him. He swung at the dog’s because they were getting too close.

Can you imagine me wrestling that dog into the truck, chasing that old black man, (I’m white) to give him his dog that he was trying to get away from?

So today, …. Do you see the post, “This is For You”

I did what it said and wrote the address to that same post.

It was not welcomed. I don’t know if she even smelled the “Rose.” I don’t think she even touched it until she gave it back to me.

She has no idea what was behind it, she never read the message, but it doesn’t matter because it wasn’t received. It was not a blessing.

God uses my personal experiences to show me something.

The first scenario…. Is a picture of God wanting to help but we are so independent and afraid that without realizing it in our self will we are shouting at Him, to leave us alone.

The second scenario is to remind me that just because I think I see what’s going on and all I’m trying to do is help, to remember this day, because I could be chasing someone down to give them something that they don’t want.

Third scenario; Many teaching points in this one.

A. A thing should be done when I think of it and not wait because the affect may take on a different aroma.

B. Be aware that God may be trying to gift you something and you do  not recognize it.

C. See: God is still using you to give messages even when you don’t know it.

Depart from fear, anxiety and depression.  I have come a very long way, I passed this test even if I didn’t come out smelling like a rose.

There is also something very deep and profound about the Rose, the story, the glass.

The Rose came from a rose bush that is all that remains of my mom’s flower garden. The area is way overgrown with Farrell bushes and I had forgotten about the Rose bush that had been there. I saw only one thorny stem that had made its way through the choker vines and grew up to produce this beautiful flower. When I saw it, it reminded me of mom and it was like she was saying, that even after she’s been long gone, her efforts are still producing fruit.

After mom left, I pretty much relied on Marsha to give me that outlet to share and bless as mom did, she would have either looked at it as to say, why are you giving me a cup of rose petals? I could have shared with her where they came from, and she would have found the beauty in that. Or she would have been taken with the simplicity, beauty and fragrance. She would have said that’s so pretty, and taken it and smelled deeply and said, “that smells so good, where did ya get that Tam.?”  And I would have told her as she enjoyed a bonbon.

The thing is, that’s a pretty hefty load to ask of someone. I may be feeling nostalgic, lonesome, sad, grieved hurt even, but I can’t silently hope that someone will help make the pain go away. No one could laugh like Mamma or Marsha. No one. No one could appreciate or be thrilled with my concoctions or ingenuity like my mom was.😂 And no one was as beautiful as Marsha. When I was coming up, I wanted to be where she was and later after she married Randy, who was the only person ever to have tucked me in and kiss me goodnight, I would make things for her.

I just miss them and Sandra and Randy.

But to try and do what I was trying to do would be unfair to anyone and hurt again in the end.

There was a God lessen in that too.

All of my life He has chastised me over the fear of man.

That day, I stood up. That day I stood. Silently, listening, seeing. I stood.

No regret for I did what I felt I should have. I understand, not knowing the reason, why it would have looked weird. I didn’t plan on her not knowing what was behind it all. But I did what I felt I should do.

God can give us blessings on every corner at every turn, but we may reject it before we even know what is inside.

We think we see, we think we know, and we immediately reject what we think “it” is.

The whole time God just wants to bless us.


This is for You

I had watched as one single bud formed and come to bloom. Deep, Rich, Red Rose. Everytime I passed it, I thought of giving it to you.

It fully blossomed perfect, wide open Rose petals. I thought that it was a shame for this beauty to go unnoticed, the aroma not blessing anyone. Again, I thought to myself that I should give it to you, a mutual blessing. It blesses God to bless you.

Then one morning, I saw a couple of petals on the ground floor. I thought, I’ve waited too long. I know, I will find the perfect box covered in deep Rich colors and place the petals in the box. Three days I looked, there was nothing even close to what I imagined.

So, I saw this wine glass… By this time the Rose petals had fallen.  You can see this clearly through the untainted glass.

I took a couple of bonbons to sweeten the palate and I hoped that the petals still had a good fragrance. See, I have no sense of smell, the beautiful aroma is lost on me, I rely on others to tell me by their expressions.

I just wanted to bless you.

In this scenario I was seeing a powerful truth.

If I wait too long with the best intentions, the fruit may die on the vine, it may just fall apart.

We tend to look for the perfect box to place things in. But sometimes what is being given to us, is not what we’ve imagined. Some things just do not fit in a box.




The Windows of Time

The windows of time are closed, but the view stays the same. Seasons come and seasons go but nothing ever changes.Deep inside my heart and soul, lay the words my daddy said, rooted like a bitter, often I wish I were dead. The wonders of time close, BUT THE SEASONS NEVER CHANGE. Locked in the bitter cold ……

Locked in time, an eight year old not believing, what’s in her head..
Dear God, can life really be so mean so cruel …
It can not be…. pushed away, pushed away, pushed away.
Locked deep inside, I can not fathom what I see.
Shhh.. don’t speak, don’t say a word, don’t breathe, maybe the monsters won’t know your here.
I hate the night time, darkness closing in, the shadows, the hauntinfs, the night mares, will it ever end.
I can’t wait until morning, where I can see around. Then I drift off to sleep for a half hour when my mom comes around.
Get up, it’s time for school..
I can barely lift head. Then with a belt across my naked Continue reading