The Cost of Mandatory Gay Celibacy

Sacred Tension

I went to college to study music – vocal performance, to be precise. I had dreams of doing something magnificent with music, like start a band, or teach voice, or become a music therapist or, on days when I was feeling particularly ambitious, become an opera singer. But most of all, I studied music because I loved it, and because it is human nature to long to be joined to the thing we love.

And I was good. Very good. Not just as a vocalist, but as a pianist, too. People congratulated me, honored me as a great talent. I gave good performances, and for all intents and purposes, I looked the part of a decent music student.

Behind the scenes, though, my life was going dark. I couldn’t say how or why at the time, but my relationship with music was becoming toxic.

By no fault of my own…

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