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WHO I AM
I am A Christian. I am a woman. I am called to preach. I am called to reach those that have fallen through the cracks of society. I am a bridge. I am a connector. I am Gay. At the very least I am not straight.
I’m fully trained in ministry, but never stepped into it. I was afraid my homosexuality would come out. I have never denied to anyone that accused me of being gay that I had/have those tendencies, but at those times my reply would be that I denied myself and took up the cross– and followed Him. Until now.
After decades of not seeing how I could have a blessed relationship and be One with God– after years of praying to change me or send me a husband that would love me anyway (I was willing to marry for the sake of the call and because I want children) or please just take my life… because I was living in misery. Every morning I woke up frustrated- tired- another day to go through– and that has been my life, ever since I left all behind for the sake of the call.
Totally believed that your salvation depends on what Jesus did and not what we do, just like a gift- you just have to accept– no matter who you are– you do not have what it takes to get to heaven, to be made right with God, so God did it for us.If you can let go of your foolish pride and will and accept His Free gift and His will, which is for all to be saved.. He came not to condemn but to save… If you accept Jesus Christ the Son of the Living God into your heart (Your soul) you very being and repent which means to turn from your own works– trying to do it–change your mindset, we can not be “good” enough– He’s done it for us– we are saved and are led by the Spirit of God and are called the Sons of God. The Lord said that you would know His disciples by our love.
He did away with the old law when He was nailed to the tree, because He was the Word of God incarnate,(Colossians)and it was cursed- done away with killed when He was crucified. Jesus Christ— gave a new commandment … John 13:14 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”
He also has said that all of the Law hinges on two things Love God with all of your heart and love one another.
John said in Him there is Light there is no darkness. John said, God is Love and Jesus said how can we love God whom we have not seen and hate our brother who we can see?
So first I would like to say— its not God when you go around yelling, throwing things, putting your kids out— hate is hate– and that’s not God– that is darkness.
Its not God, for you to loathe yourself and wake up every morning wanting to die because you are still gay- you are who you are. He knew you long before you or anybody else did– He loves you. He showed me a flower one time and said, “Do you know what they do to praise Me, to Glorify Me?” I thought– they grow toward the sun. He said, they glorify me just by being a flower– just by growing and blooming and spreading— they glorify Me. I created them just as I wanted, just because it pleased me.
Decades, I have struggled with loneliness and thoughts of suicide until one day, He sent me a woman, straight, a minister, and she wanted to be my friend and she was drawn to me and I to her.
We were powerful prayer partners together, I could see how all of the dreams and visions were falling into place.
This page is about that — coming to terms with— God does Bless the relationship He has given, and it is good, it is very good.
I never dreamed in a million years that I could ever have a love in this lifetime and be perfectly in the will of God – but it is true.
I have never felt such peace, joy and unity as I have when God the Father United us as one. This Light, this is Joy, this is Love, this is contentment.
So at the age of 48 I reconciled that I am who I am because it pleased Him, there is a reason- not for me to know, but for the first time in my life I feel whole because I have accepted me.