Dear God

I don’t understand so much.. I have done all that I’m supposed to do… I just dont understand.  I have been waiting for some miracle for so long …since I was 2 yrs old You told me that you put me here for a reason. Many times I have felt like I have been taken under the sea and lifted up at the very last possible moment only to be taken down again to the depths of darkness.
These past two years were amazing and for the first time I wanted to live. I FELT. I LOVED..I WAS LOVED..LIFE HAD MEANING…only for it all to become a hellish reality thst …not in this lifetime can it be so. I AM TIRED. There is no one to talk to and I plesd with You
…just take one is one hears…my love is lost and I dont have a friend..for too long You have told me that there was a reason for my being…..I have loved You with all of my heart and strength…Your Bride is dirty with the works of the flesh..the pride of life and the lust of the flesh…your chkldren are crying in the streets God save us and Religion stands at the door unwilling for them to enter into Your rest. I CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT everyone is so self righteous and judgemental. .but You most of all should know that..they murdered You didnt they.
You showed me a sea of faces filled with torment crying for help and sent me here to help.. I cant do anything…I can barely stay above the tide or the undertow myself.
I cant help anyone because I can not even help myself…So do what You Have to do Father ..I am here at Your beck and call..but Lord..I am tired…for47 yrs youve been telling me You have a reason for my being… Give me power..give me strength..give me breath or just take me home. Please.


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